‘I Feel Exhausted All The Time,’ Says College Student Who Supports Her 56-Year-Old Mother
Thank you, sweetheart.
Okay. I am my mother’s sole caretaker. This is the apartment that my mom and I live in. She goes to bed around four or five in the morning. Mommy?
Yeah? It’s a little passed 11:00, it’s time to get up. I will get her milk and her pills and bring ’em to her. Thank you, baby doll. Cindy carries a negative energy. She definitely is mooching off of Cheyenne. I have asked her if she sees us living together for the rest of her life? She said, “Yeah.” I asked her, “Why?” She said because I’m the oldest. I pay for the apartment, all of the bills, including the television that she watches. [Cheyenne’s Fiance] Cheyenne cooks, cleans, takes the dogs to the vet, changes her sheets, does her laundry, and Cindy does nothing. I feel exhausted all the time. Cindy would be living in a pigsty if Cheyenne wasn’t there to clean up after her. We still have Christmas up, because I haven’t had time really to take it down yet. My mom claims she has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, which is something that affects the joints, but she hasn’t received an official diagnosis. My mom has never worked. I believe my mom is capable of having a job, and that she just relies a little too much on her illnesses. The situation does anger me. Taking care of my mom is a big burden on me. She emotionally manipulates me. Thank you. If I ever try to confront my mother, she gives me an enormous guilt trip. She tells me, “I am such a horrible mother, “I am such a big burden, maybe I should just kill myself.” In six months, I’m moving out. Cheyenne and I are planning on living together. She needs to find a place to live, and she needs to know that. If I have anything to say about it, her mother will not be living there. I feel like she does plan on staying with me. even after giving her an ultimatum. I am afraid that I won’t ever get rid of her. (dramatic music) Okay, so you two are very much in love? Yes, we are. And you would like to marry her? Absolutely. And you intend to marry her?
Definitely. But you don’t want to marry her with her mother hooked onto her, bleeding her dry, mentally, emotionally, financially, energy wise, every kind of way. All of the above. What’s wrong with your mother? My mom is pretty depressed, has a lot of anxiety and fears. She has some physical problems that make if difficult for her to walk sometimes. And what are they? We do know that she has severe arthritis in her knees. She’s just gotten a kind of diagnosis from a doctor. The doctor kind of thinks that she has Ehlers-Danlos syndrome but she hasn’t had an actual official diagnosis of it yet. But how do you kind of get diagnosed with something? I don’t, I believe it was a nurse practitioner, and she said, “Oh, you have this,” and so since then, my mom has been looking it up and she feels like it fits her pretty well. So Dr. Google gave it to her? Kind of, yeah.
Okay. Here are her actual quotes about this. “A nurse practitioner mentioned EDS “and I started my online research. “I haven’t been diagnosed officially. “I don’t even know if they have “a doctor who specializes in that. “It’s supposed to be genetic, “but I don’t know anyone in my family who has it. “I think this could be the real thing, “but I haven’t been officially tested.” That’s a long way from having a disease that is debilitating to the point that you are 100% dependent on someone else, and bleeding them dry.