Dawn Russell, part 07 of 08: “Punishment for Misbehaving in an Institution”

November 17, 2019 0 By Kody Olson

I think has a lot to do when you have adults
with animosity against you because I remember it doesn’t snow in Mississippi I had nurses
wagering on if my mom and dad were going to show up because they closed the road from
Mississippi to Memphis and I was watching the news and it said the road didn’t close
and I was sitting there trying to be strong and they came in there and laughed at me and
said they wont be coming to see you today, you’ll just be like everyone else here and
I looked at her and I said you’re wrong they will be here. This is an adult to a child
and 2 hour waiting the big thing was to see those big doors open and I think about how
absurd it is today but those we were being they were locked and at 2:00 they opened and
4:00 they closed and 5 minuets to 4 my mom and dad walked in and I looked up and of course
I just said Fuck You and you can say that but didn’t know those words and it was like
here’s yours bitch ya and it would always be at the end of visiting hours that I would
get in trouble and think it another reason I wasn’t liked by the kids I would get in
trouble every time because I was very emotional and I think that is something that goes along
with the CP that the doctors didn’t tell anyone about and didn’t know it at the time
but I deal with things through crying and this isn’t the manipulation part, understand
there is a difference I am filled with emotion I can’t do anything but cry and they had
these therapists there names Ms. Belts and she would try to break me and say I am going
to break you and she would take me into the therapy room and put me in the bathtub and
submerge my head and at 8 years old I said to her and I remember this clear as day I
said bitch I said you’ll have to kill me to shut me up and on my 17th birthday my mom
is filled with all this guilt and I had told them this was going on and it was my 17th
birthday and my mom was all depressed and she said I have a question to ask you and
she said that thing you told me was that true and I said that was true and she said I am
sorry and I told her you never have to apologize to me I am a strong woman. And so first month
at NCIL this women named Darla Jones came in ok my boss introduces me and she says this
Darla, this is Dawn Russell and she looks at me and says please tell me you aren’t
the Dawn Russell that was at Children’s Hospital. I said ya that’s me and she said
we hated you and I was said what she said we all hated you and I said why did you hate
me ? she said you know when you would be crying and wouldn’t stop and ended up in the therapy
room and Ms Belts was putting you in the tub she said we knew you weren’t going to quit
and all we knew you were in the raising hell and you weren’t going to give in to her
and she was going to come out and take it out in us. So here I am brand new in this
whole crazy thing and I had someone in my past come back and say that to me and I asked
LaTonya if she knew me and she said yes. Ya so that was it and guess what happened to
Ms. Belts. She died in a nursing home. And I bet some of the same abuse happened to her
and it doesn’t make that person any better but she got some of that abuse back.